I've decided to change name of my blog. I do love the name "Peace, Love, Art" because it fits my ideals...but I wanted something a little more unusual, something more specific. I came up with Square Peg because many times I feel like a square peg in a world of round holes. I feel love for this world, wonder at it's natural beauty and processes. I love people...how different we all can be, how varied and yet, how alike we can be as well. But I sometimes feel like I don't fit in, like I don't belong here. I have deeply held, rather conservative religious beliefs, but politically I'm fairly liberal. I don't usually like trends. Sometimes I look at the way life is here now, what is popular...like tattoos and piercings....focus on dark things in movies and media.... how much people love coffee....and I just feel so disconnected because I don't enjoy those things or even understand some of them. I try not to judge people on outward appearance alone----I'm always interested in what makes people tick, why they behave as they do, what their motivations are. I want to understand, and I believe most everyone is good at heart. So if you are a tattooed, pierced, coffee drinking "True Blood" fan I can still be your friend, even if I would do none of those things myself. But it does make me feel very separate sometimes. I feel puzzled by the violence in our world, the discord, the discontent. My feelings of being on the outside don't make me hate anyone and it is hard for me to understand sometimes why people seem to really react to "difference" and "otherness" with such negativity. I guess feeling like a square peg sometimes makes people feel angry, because instead of examining themselves, it is easier to put down someone else. Everyone loves to find affinity with others, to be in groups of people like themselves. It feels good to be affirmed in your beliefs and preferences.
I am a square peg. I am different. I'm working to feel content with my sense of being odd in some respects, realizing that I may never be totally in alignment, trying to accept others as they are, and to not only be "ok" with them but to be happy with them, at peace. I ask God's help in this. I have come to see being a square in a world dominated by circles is a gift in itself, even though it doesn't always feel comfortable.