Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you....Happy Birthday dear Einat....Happy Birthday to you!
Einat is having a birthday and she wants her friends to share a growing experience. So here is mine:
In 1997 I had a horrible year. I found out my dear mother in law had Parkinson's Disease. My husband's Grandmother passed away. One of my friends lost her four year old daughter to cancer. In the spring of that year, my husband left me. I had two small daughters and I tried to cope by making it all "ok". My husband and I would remain friends, we would co parent separately and do whatever we could to make things good for our girls. I went to therapy with him in an attempt to create some kind of new workable relationship with him, because it was very clear he didn't want to be married to me. He had found someone else. About two months into this, I had an accident which totalled my vehicle, and sent my youngest daughter to the ER in a helicopter. I went with her, praying the whole time....and thank God she was OK. In order to go with her I had to sign a waiver for medical treatment for myself, because they wanted to take me to the hospital too. We were all ok. I was afraid to drive after this, but did, because I had to. About three days later a deer jumped out at me. I didn't hit it but it scared me badly. A few days after this, someone else almost hit me AGAIN. I pulled over to the side of the road, shaking, and I put my head on the wheel and said, "God what do you want from me?!?!" I heard an answer in my mind, clear as a bell, that said, "You can't take a step without ME." I had been trying to "manage" everything on my own, things that were completely unmanageable.
At my friend's daughter's funeral, I had gone to a Catholic church, which was, for me, aptly named, "Our Lady of Consolation." The message had touched my heart deeply that day. I had also been going to graduate school at a Catholic institution, Immaculata College. Images of Jesus and Mary surrounded me at school. I also was talking online to some friends who just happened to be, you guessed it, Catholic. Sometimes God nudges us in the right direction. In my case, I feel like he had to nearly hog tie me and drag me kicking and screaming! After he so plainly told me I needed Him, I started going to Mass at OLC. I joined the Church formally about a year later. Another year later I married a good devout Catholic man and we had two more children.
There are still times when I want to manage things by myself. But God is always there, patiently waiting for me to turn to Him, rely on Him, follow Him and rest in Him.
If you would like to share in Einat's birthday celebration, check out her blog here: http://scrapinit.blogspot.com/2012/04/best-birthday-blog-candy.html
Oh Linda what a heart breaking year you had to go through. I am reminded of Psalm 23 as I read. Where David says "He makes me lie down in green pastures". So often we read that as "He invites me" when David clearly says "makes me". Sounds like that's what He did with you, because He loves you so much, and wanted to prevent your self destruction He "made" you lie down in the sweet smelling lush freedom of His. Good on you to have allowed him to do so :) Praising the Lord with you as you now walk in that freedom knowing the real, deep, and pursuing Love of your Lord and Maker.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sherri. I never thought of that interpretation of that Psalm, but yes! God was and is truely my parent. How do I say this with humility....mmm....I was too important for Him to let me go. I was adrift spiritually then, never an unbeliever, but most definitely not anchored to anything solid. He was certainly my FATHER, loving me like the perfect Father. He allowed me my mistakes and showed me how to learn from them. He is SO GOOD.
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